The Last Goodbye
by ModernDivine
Summary: Even after all these years, after the war, after all the vows and promises, it was never her. It was always Sakura. NaruSaku one-shot.


**A/N #1:**

**This shouldn't be any news for any narusaku fans, but I found a page on deviantART that's been out for almost a year now: 'Why we compare Kushina and Sakura'. **

**I was swept away after reading through it multiple times. Thought it was enough to keep me going, I just read chapter 615 and skimmed through the many chapters that occur after that. Oh well. This fic isn't related to my other works. This one-shot is just an excuse for my insecurities.**

**Enjoy & let me know what you think!**

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She knew about the affair almost from the start, although it was a long time before she allowed herself to admit it. She loved Naruto with all her soul; the thought that he would stray was like a knife to her heart. He had seemed so happy after their marriage, swearing that she was everything that he wanted because she had been by his side throughout the war. She'd catch him glancing at her at random times, just smiling that soft knowing smile she thought of as her own. It gave her hope. When he nearly gave in to the hands of the enemy, she shook him out of his reverie. He thanked her because she was there. Her faith kept him going. He made her stronger.

The war is long over now. And peace was building stronger than ever. For her, the early days had been almost like a dream, filled with the hazy warmth of love and newness.

Naruto pursued her.

They had to get used to everything, seeing each other in the morning before missions and deciding which side of the bed to sleep on. Each day brought another first and a renewed sense of two lives joined into one.

It wasn't until almost two years had passed that those feelings started to wear off. A few of the things they had always done together now seemed like too much effort. It was no longer so important to spend every moment together. The endearments and loving words now became habits rather than an overflow of emotion that had to be expressed. She forced herself to believe that he was simply buried in his work at the office. He was Hokage after all. But, she'd already known she couldn't fool herself forever.

She'd thought nothing of it. All couples went through things like that; it was just part of married life. Things were always more intense in the beginning than they would be for the duration. She knew that she was a more expressive person now because of him, but it wasn't fair to hold him to her standards. She just needed to lower her expectations slightly to be more reasonable and things would work themselves out. They would be happy again.

Only it hadn't turned out that way. The more she gave up holding out for the smaller gestures of affection, the fewer came her way. It began to look as though he had never offered them because of his own feelings but rather to meet what he thought she expected of him. As she stopped prompting him for them, they ceased coming.

Even this she had been able to accept and explain. Naruto had always been a demonstrative kind of person when it came to his softer side. If one looked at his entire life, the span of outgoing affection was the one that was out of place. It had obviously been her own fault for thinking that his accepting her loving him would suddenly change that. That it would suddenly change how the village looked at him. She chided herself for her vanity and tried once more not to let it bother her.

By this time, they had been married for six years. They had discussed children several times during that span, always ultimately deciding that it wasn't the right time for one reason or another. At first it had been too soon after the wedding; couples needed time alone before adding another person into the equation. Then they had resided into the Hokage mansion and needed to get it fixed up, a job infinitely easier without an infant on hand. Then work had been taking up too much time as they sought to get onto their tasks for the sake of the next generation. Each a reasonable excuse in their own right and time. She was the heiress of a prominent clan, and he, the Rokudaime.

Just as she was gathering her courage to confront Naruto about their relationship, things changed once again. It was almost as though he knew what she'd been thinking and sought to make up for the slights. The flattering lover from the early days of their marriage returned. He had his loving looks and gentle actions firmly in tow. He'd stop to get her flowers on the way home from work, presenting them with his cheesy smile on his whiskered face and a hesitant comment that he'd thought of her when he saw them.

It was completely by chance that she stumbled onto the truth. A call from the hospital had been delivered, while she collected the dinner dishes for washing. Naruto had waved her into the kitchen while he answered the phone.

"How does this damn thing work?" he muttered, as he contemplated the recent growing inventions of the shinobi world.

Then, she heard him quietly talking and thought nothing of it, loading the dishwasher with practiced ease. It was only when she'd returned to the dining room to get a platter she had missed that she heard something different in his tone. He sounded …not excited, really, but animated, alive. It was the voice of the man she'd married, one that had been missing for quite some time.

The conversation hadn't lasted long before he hung up and turned around. When he saw her standing there eyes wide, he had flinched visibly, his expression flickering before settling into one of practiced blankness. He mumbled something about a mission before turning and leaving the room. His departure came too late, however; she had seen what he had striven to hide. Even without the Byakugan, the emotion that he had so quickly stricken from his face had lingered in his cerulean eyes for her to see.

Guilt.

She had placed the platter back on the table with forced calm as realizations dawned. There had been no sudden resurgence of his earlier passion. He was obviously doing something that he felt was wrong and his newfound attempts at romance were his way of atoning. She felt stupid and betrayed and more hurt than she could ever remember feeling in her life. A part of her wanted to go to him and get the whole story; another part wanted to forget what she had seen and go on as though nothing had happened.

She'd spent days arguing with herself about it. Knowledge, once gained, cannot be unlearned. She had to be sure she wanted the answers before she started asking questions. If it turned out to be something silly, she would have proven her lack of trust in her husband. He might be keeping something from her but what if that something was completely innocent, like a surprise party? How could she face him knowing that she had doubted him?

In the end, the choice was simple. This was her husband. He loved her enough to marry her and she knew that his will, if nothing else, would keep him by her side. The Naruto that she knew and loved would never break their vows, never break his promises. Even if he fell in love with _someone_ else, he would tell her and back out of their union before so much as kissing her. Of this, she was sure.

That decided, she continued about her life, not asking but always watching. If he had long conversations behind closed doors from time to time, it was just a message. If he sometimes seemed a bit happier on the days when he was a little later coming home, he'd just had a successful mission. When the flowers were joined by candy and then jewelry, she smiled and thanked him, saving her tears for when he was away.

Years passed and she convinced herself that she was happy. They both retired from their duties to the village. She had wanted Naruto to call her own for so long that she wasn't going to allow a few bumps in the road to ruin it. It might be rough for a while but things would eventually smooth out. Naruto would realize his mistake and come back to her and they'd be a family again.

That dream died in the middle of a crowded sidewalk a few weeks later.

She'd spent the day shopping for things around the house and had wound up near Naruto's office. Since it was near noon, she decided to drop in and see if he wanted to have lunch with her. When she found he had already gone out, she was a little disappointed but didn't let it get her down for long. Bags in hand, she wandered down the street, eyeing the familiar ramen stand to gauge that this was the one he most likely would have chosen.

She was just about to give in to her aching feet when she caught sight of his spiky blonde hair and broad shoulders seated at an outside table. He was turning to order and speak and so he hadn't noticed her yet. With a smile curving her lips, she quickened her steps in his direction. She was no more than ten feet away when she saw that he had company at his table. She slowed then, not wanting to intrude, but it was his expression that stopped her in her tracks.

This was the Naruto of the late nights and phone calls, the one that she was no longer enough to bring out. Her heart pounded painfully and her breath caught in her chest. Almost against her will she moved forward, her pale eyes seeking the identity of the person who was so easily succeeding where all her efforts had failed. The false bliss of chosen ignorance was no longer an option; she had to know.

The pink haired woman was smiling, her hand resting on Naruto's arm. The gesture itself was innocent enough unless you knew of Naruto's reluctance to be touched. That he allowed her hand to remain there and even, she noted with another flash of pain, placed his own on top of it for a time told her more than she wanted to know. She turned from the scene on shaking legs, biting her lip to keep from crying out.

She stumbled through the lunch hour crowd, forcing her attention on not bumping into anyone. It became the most important thought in her mind, as though the merest brush might shatter the thin casing of calm that she had surrounded herself with. She barely noticed the scenery that she passed, didn't see a single one of the many confused and concerned looks cast her way. The only thing that made its way through the numbing fog was the image of Naruto and the other woman and the irony of her rival now being the one she had been so happy to classify as not a threat all those years ago.

Her hands shook as she unlocked the door. The items she had found so much enjoyment in picking out were dropped in a heap just past the threshold. Pale lilac eyes blurred with tears, she stumbled through the hall and to the bedroom. Dropping onto the bed, she pulled her pillow tightly against her chest.

Alone with her broken heart, Hinata wept.

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**A/N #2:**

**I have nothing against Hinata because I love her just as much as I love Sakura! ^^But, there are arguments that I dislike from NH fans (for example, the way their questions tend to bash NS ones...). My most favorite disliked arguments include:**

"Sakura hits Naruto. Naruto doesn't deserve that."

_**And**_

"Hinata is like Minato and Naruto is like Kushina. That is what Kushina was saying."

**From NS: **

So… Kushina hits Naruto. Kushina must be an abusive mother.

And NO. Kushina said to "find a girl like me" not "find a girl like Minato". End of story.

**Insert eye roll* Oh well. ****Kishi made shounen not shoujo. But this...is fanfiction...mwahaha**


End file.
